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Friday, October 01, 2010 @ 4:53 AM
I haven't been blogging for a long long time & now i've got some emo shitzxzxzx to say here . I just don't understand why im not good enough for everything , why is my life an epic failure ? My grades now can't even bring me anywhere .I have a fucking low GPA of 2.7 & until now im still doubting myself whether i am suitable to take Law .I don't understand why am i so stupid.I do consistent school work & i studied like fuck during the holidays ( k lah , exams week i did'nt really chiong for it,just too sick of seeing the boks already) but why are'nt i getting the results that i want ? My CCA's floorball & i am one of the worst players there . Don't fucking console me with " but you're the most hardworking" blahblahbal , i have heard enough of that shit lies .Hard working so ? hardworking does'nt mean you are good . Yah then you guys are gona say stuff like, " ohhh hardworking , now not good next time will be damn good! " cheebye , i was in deyi military band for 4years & i still can't play the trumpet well.\\ Dance . I spent so much money on renting studios & effort by practising everyday . Im not sure if im not in the CJ dance crew cause today's the day they will be calling those who can make it in. Allision & mellisa already recieved their calls 3hours ago & im preety sure not many is gona make it soooo .. by now if i make it , they should have called me already right ? right . But i've yet to recieve any calls , nothing . I know im not experiece enough but they said they were looking for potentials . I guess im not cut out for it .TPDE also same result . Actually i expected myslef to not make it into the cj dance crew but it kinda triggered the thought of fact that im not good enough for anything. studies , sports(floorball) & the arts ( dance . cheebye , my art olevels also C5) . lastly my friends & family . I don't know who i cant trust . I don't know who is fake cause people around me can be so fake that they themsleves don't even know what their true identity is .I have bestfriends & close friends but i always feel that i will trouble them .My cousin , someone who's my family member & my bestfriend does'nt seem to care as much as she use to.Yah okay stop giving me excuses like " maybe she university more busy ? & now she has a boyfriend so she has to like slipt her attention ? " yah fuck lah chee bye , now adays i tell her my problems sometimes like macham takling to a wall . Always say things like " aiya , i don't know lah , its really up to you " Knn , i ask of your opinion you tell me you "don't know " . My parents suck to the core & they find me a burden . & way fuck they themselves told me in the face okay! cheebye , aiya wana talk about them , i can write fucking two novels on this subject man . WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !? why am i so ugly , fat & yet not good in anything ? |
